Every Time I Look at You
by Missvangie67
Summary: Hector and Imelda have their entire lives together to look forward to. But, their Marriage, children and a future together are stolen from them in a single night. How will they heal? Can they find it within themselves to forgive each other? Could they ever truly forget the music they once shared. rated T for language and mild adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: the wedding night

The room was dark, lit only by a single flickering candle on the nightstand. Hector collapsed on the bed, able to feel imelda's hot breath on his cheek. He flipped onto his back and laid next to her and they both tried to catch their breath. The room went quiet as they looked up at the ceiling until Imelda finally broke through the heavy silence '' wow.'' she said.

Hector smiled "Yeah, wow." he breathed , turning to face her and trying to keep his eyes on her beautiful face. "I love you so much." he said, brushing a cluster of dark hairs that had fallen from her up-do from her face. She placed a hand over his on her face "I love you too." she said and he pulled her into his scrawny, bare chest.

The moment felt soft and warm as she rested her tired head on his collarbone and closed her eyes. Hector pulled the blanket over them and quickly fell asleep. 'Typical hector' Imelda thought, looking up at her sleeping husband from her place on his bed. Her heart, which some would say was cold and bleak, sang as she had earlier that evening. She felt the same way she had as a nervous sixteen year old just before their first kiss. They had been in her back yard, their first extended time alone together, while hector played his old guitar. They sat against the wall of the house , seemingly inching closer together each moment until she found her face inches from his. Without thinking she'd stopped singing and turned to him, causing him to do the same "Every- everything all right?" he asked, stumbling as he spoke. She gave a small nod before pulling herself up towards his face and placed her lips on his gingerly. The kiss was brief and unsure yet sweet , Imelda pulling away.

She couldn't help but smile at the thought, the innocence of those days. Now nothing separated the skin of their bodies under the bed sheets, both of them completely vulnerable and open to one another. They days when they were still getting to know each other. The long nights spent looking at the stars and singing as Hector played his beloved old guitar. They would dance for short eternities under an endless curtain of night before Hector would walk her home with his arm draped over her shoulder. Then he would give a quick peck when they got to her front door and walking half way across town back to his abuela's house and crash into his bed.

They rarely saw one another during the day, Hector having to work from six am until five in the afternoon. Most days imelda would be waiting at his house for him so that they could go meet with Ernesto to play at bars and other small shows around town, always with her in the audience.

She remembered the first time she heard him play. He and Ernesto had been playing at a talent show, losing out to a local mariachi group. She had watched them as they both played without missing a single note. She hadn't thought much of Hector with his long gangly limbs and big nose, thinking him an awkward little guy that Ernesto needed to play back-up for him. She regretted thinking that when he began playing. His fingers picked the strings asif it was all they had ever been meant to do and his voice soared and exploded into the air, he was a captivating performer that brought listeners from their seats to the dance floor. His love of each note was evident and spread to the crowd.

Hector off stage wasn't shy by any means but once there was a guitar in his hands he became a man of the music. He didn't need to put up an overly masculine front in order to be a man. This had been attractive to Imelda, who found his goofy personality and passion for his craft endearing. Although she would never have admitted to it. Their interaction that night was brief, Hector clearly nervous that someone as beautiful and who gave off such a powerful aura of confidence as Imelda would talk to him.

Their courtship was an unexpected one, moving along slowly as neither of them wanted to rush into things. Of all the nights they spent together, sometimes wandering around without a destination and sometimes playing cards with Hector's Abuela Valentina ,who had come to adore Imelda. The same happened with her family, all of them coming to look forward to seeing them together. When they announced their engagement their families had been over the moon for them. They were happy to welcome Hector into their family.

The image of Hector unbuttoning his shirt earlier that night came to mind. His shaky hands as he had unzipped her dress. She could feel his excitement, confusion, fear and uncertainty in the way he kissed her, moving with such care as not to hurt her. He was gentle and caring towards her, not because she was weak though. He adored her so much that it amazed him. Never had either of them ever cared for someone else so deeply. From the present she looked up at his sleeping face.

This night marked the end of that life and the beginning of a new one. The gold band on Imelda's finger made her picture the rest of their life together. She was excited to move in with him, to be able to sleep next to his warmth every night and refer to him as her husband. She looked forward to the family they would have together. She imagined growing old with him , watching their children grow and bring them grandkids that Hector would play songs for. Their lives together had only just begun.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Hector woke to the room filled with sunlight and his girl still asleep on his chest. He almost shot up immediately worried that he was late for work before his nerves settled. He smiled and laid back 'Si I can relax' he thought. He didn't think to disturb Imelda for nearly half an hour, knowing full well she needed her rest. But the feeling of her eyelashes fluttering on his collarbone told him she was awake.

"Good morning" he said and rubbed her back. Imelda murmured something in return and stretched as she sat up and let the blanket fall around her waist. She then remembered her current state of dress -or lack thereof- and covered herself. Hector looked down with a redness spread across his face.

They stayed in their room for a while longer before getting dressed and going about their day together, meeting Hector's Abuela in the kitchen "Oh Hector, did you sleep well mijo?" she asked with a massive smile on her face. "Yes we did Abuela." Hector replied , both he and his wife giving Valentina a hug.

Most of their day was spent together, playing music, meeting with friends and talking with their families. Anyone they knew congratulated them as they walked around until they settled in the town center where a mariachis band played and they danced until well into the night. They strolled back home hand in hand and drunk off life.

The rest of the night was spent singing and dancing in the living room until they could hardly move and they collapsed onto the sofa, Hector still lazily strumming his guitar as Imelda rested her head on his lap. The world seemed to disappear as she looked up at him, as if the planet faded away and time stood frozen. They savored the moment, holding it close because they knew it wasn't going to come back.

About a month later Hector was on his way home from work when he saw Imelda run out of the house with a terrified look on her face "Hector!" she screamed.

"Imelda what's going on are you okay?" he asked, an obvious look of concern and terror creeping on to his face.

She grabbed his hand "Oh Hector, It's Valentina!" before she could say anything else Hector was running into the house, not even bothering to close the door and running into his Abuela's tiny room. She lie in her bed struggling to breathe and sputtering with bloodshot eyes that could hardly open. He approached the bed "Mama Valentina." he said and kneeled down as Imelda stood in the doorway.

Her breathing eased ever so slightly "M-Matio?" she exhaled, turning her head on the pillow to look at him. "No abuela, Its me. Hector." he spoke softly. Gingerly he squeezed her hand, finding that it was flaming. He checked her forehead and found that it too was burning up "Are you alright?" he asked as his wife grabbed his arm in an attempt to comfort him.

She shook her head slowly, her eyes swollen and mouth dry "No Mijo" she whispered. Imelda placed a hand over the two of theirs'. "You won't be alone for a second Abuela." she said and Hector nodded " Si". He tried to appear strong but knew what was coming. The lump in his throat was becoming harder to swallow.

The moments ticked by for several hours "Mijo…" Valentina managed to find the strength to say "Sing for me por favor". Hector looked up and , without wasting a moment began his little song, the first he had ever written.

" _One day I'll have a golden guitar_

 _And I promise you everything you could ever_

 _Want or need_

 _Oh I'll be there one day ,_

 _High above it all_

 _And I promise that we'll never fall"_

By the time he stopped his song tears were flowing down his face. There was a moment of nothing but Valentina's heavy breathing until there was silence. Her iron grip on their hands went limp and the rise and fall of her chest stopped. Hector gripped his grandmother's hand , his face contorting in pain before letting out a deep primal scream "NO!" he exhaled , lying his head on the edge of the bed and allowing his tears to sink into the sheets. Imelda hugged him tight but knew it was to no avail. They sat longer then either would have expected until Hector finally stood up and whipped his face "I'll talk to the undertaker." he said both void and flooded with emotion.

 **A/N: Wow that got very sad. sorry it took me a while to finally update and also if they're are any errors.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next few days followed like a blur, the wake and funeral feeling like a distant dream from years ago. It finally hit Hector on the way back to Imelda's parents house after the burial. Oscar and Felipe walked beside one another "Wanna spend the night Hector?" Oscar asked once they were inside. His heavy head shot back into reality "I guess." he said, knowing that he wouldn't want to spend the night in his own house alone. Even if Imelda was beside him he knew he would feel alone. The kind of alone that no amount of hugs or "I'm so sorry''s could fix. The house felt like a ghost town the first night

"You're not alone mi amigo, We're your family now." Felipe said, handing Hector and his brother a shot glass and filling them all up. "Gracias." he said and allowed his smile to return if only for a moment.

The entire family did the same "To Valentina" said Hector "To Valentina!" they all repeated and they all tipped back their drinks without so much as a grimace. He and Imelda sat in the living room with the twins when everyone else went off to bed. "I can't believe you still have to work tomorrow!" she said angrily "It's ridiculous!"

"I know, but what do you want me to do? Just tell the boss I need to take three days off within a month? The bastard would fire me." he said and sipped at his drink before tipping it back.

"It is bullshit though." said Oscar "Yeah but that guy's a hard-ass." Felipe said so quickly after his brother it was as if the statement had been said by a single person rather than as a response. Hector snorted "You got that right mi amigo" he leaned back on the couch and hummed " _oh mi jefe es un verga_

 _Si ! Me jefe es un verga_

 _El si sienta en su culo toda la dia_

 _Mientras yo trabajo de mio_

 _Mi jefe es un verga_

 _Y el puede chupar el mio!" *_

He sung drunkenly as the twins howled with laughter. Imelda crossed her arms "You are all so immature." she said with a roll of her eyes "Oh come on sis that was pretty funny" Felipe said but was quickly shot a glare from his sister

"One more time!" Hector chanted as he sat up and poured another round and began his song again, the twins joining in this time and the three of them toasting after they finished.

"That's your last one." she said "Your gonna be hungover in the morning." and he sighed "I know, I know. I won't have any more." he promised.

They stayed up a little while longer, joking and laughing before finally going to bed. Hector fell onto his wife's childhood bed, lazily kicking off his shoes before saying "I shouldn't have had that last one"

Imelda closed the door "I told you." she said. Her husband sat up "Just like you always do." he admitted and she smiled. The room was small and warm , having little more than a bed and desk contained within it's four walls.

"I remember the first time I was in here you know." he said, loosening his handkerchief and letting it drop to the floor. "You were so nervous!" she said and sat down next to him "Yeah, your parents wouldn't even let you close the door." he said.

Imelda chuckled "I can't imagine why." she said sarcastically "Well you were with a catch like me so can you blame 'um?" he said, sitting up straight and puffing his chest out mockingly

She knocked him back a little with her hand "Don't flatter yourself." hector laughed as he allowed her to push him onto the mattress "Well I must have done something right." he said, caressing the side of her face with as delicate a hand as he could manage in his drunken state. She let loose her long dark hair and let it fall down her back in a wave. They shared a passionate kiss before beginning to undress one another.

The night ticked by several hours later at an excruciating pase. Hector found himself completely unable to sleep, staring up into a void where he knew the ceiling should be. No light came from the window, causing the room to be swallowed entirely by darkness and silence to fill the air. Sleep seemed impossible tonight, even with the drinks he'd had earlier it seemed he couldn't so much as relax. He could feel it was going to be a long, lonely night. That didn't stop him from thanking god that Imelda was next to him. If he had been alone he might have gotten out of bed, out of the house, out of his head, and wandered around outside. Maybe got another shot or have a cigarette even though he didn't normally smoke. But instead he lie still, cemented to the bed with Imelda half on top of him and his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

After a while he turned his head to look at the wall, his eyes cutting through the dark just enough to see the outline of imelda's desk. Where she had written letters and notes for him despite seeing him nearly every day. She would leave a note at his house telling him to meet her down by the river where they could be alone under the tree with 'PH' and 'EN' carved into it's trunk. No one knew who had carved into the tree or who the initials belonged to. There were dozens of stories about the carving's origin, from a pair of young lovers that disappeared after being seen by the river late one night to a forbidden romance between two teenagers that drowned themselves after the girl's father decided on who she should marry. Hector had spent many nights under that tree with Imelda in his arms and her lipstick on his neck.

At seventeen the two on them fell asleep on the grass and ended up having to rush back home at three in the morning only for Imelda's father to slam the door in Hector's face and her mother to give him a very stern talking to outside. The lipstick on his collar didn't help his case. The next day the twins found him on his way home from work and gave him a note from Imelda.

" _Papa says I can't see you for two weeks. I told him we didn't do anything but he's still angry. We can send notes through Oscar and Felipe until then. I already miss you. ~ love Imelda"_ it had said.

That night he had nearly cried as he told Ernesto about how Imelda's father hated him.

"Hector" Ernesto had said "Calm down. Her papa wanting you dead in an essential part of dating. If he hates your guts then you know you're doing something right."

"You are loco mi amigo." said Hector, taking a sip from his beer bottle. Over the next two weeks they sent letters through the twins, Imelda threatening to kill them if they dared to read the words meant only for Hector. Some of them made him blush, not through their slightly rude contents but because of the care that went into each sentence. And oh the way she wrote his name. "I'm going a little crazy without you mi amor" she had said by the end of the first week and causing Hector to stay up until two am writing a new song. The next morning he woke up on his song book with pencil led smudged on his cheek.

When he saw her next he played for her, earning a tight hug that pushed him onto his back and a face full of kisses. This time making sure to clean himself up before facing her papa again.

Even in his numb state the memories made him smile. Two weeks had been eternity then. The melodrama and the rush it gave them to send letters in secret or sneak through one another's windows for the coveted goodnight kiss. That was the first time he said "I love you." After hopping through her window. She gasped and ran to him , pulling him in before he was finished getting through the window before immediately shushing him. "I just wanted to say buenas noches." he said. They shared a kiss and Hector was out just as fast as he'd arrived.

Imelda leaned out the window, her eyes glowing in the moonlight "I love you Hector!" she called. Hector turned back, caressing her face with a shaky hand "I love you too." he said. The first of a million time he would say those three little words.

He thought of the last time he said that to his grandmother and found himself between tears and a smile. Memories so sweet and grief so bitter the cocktail made him sick. But now was no time to be sick, now was a time to remember and to live.

(* for anyone curious the words to the song are "my boss is a dick, oh yes my boss is a dick, he does nothing but sit on his ass all day while I work mine off, my boss is a dick and he can suck mine" I know its stupid and immature but Hector is drunk) **Also I took some liberties with the ages of the characters, I know that they had coco at like 18-19 and then she was about three or four when Hector left. Its just a little different in this story in case anyone was confused. I want to really show the beginning of their relationship because I find that's something that they're isnt enough of. Show their young stupid years ya know. Sorry for any typos, especially in spanish I am not the best speller. I speak very limited spanish but am veru bad at writing or speaking it myself. I can piece things together but I'm not great at it. Sorry for the really long authors note.**


	4. Chapter 4

Months passed slowly, the newlyweds enjoying their new lives together greatly. In public they stayed mature, doing little more than holding hands when not in their house. But the minute the door closed and they found themselves alone there was no stopping them. There hadn't been a time in months that they had sat on the couch without hands wandering and clothes slipping off. They wondered if other couples were as passionate with one another as them. They had heard before the wedding how stale such things became. This was the farthest thing from the truth for them. They would have felt guilty for enjoying one another so much if it didn't feel so good.

But after months of fooling around it was bound to catch up with them. Hector paced in the living room, waiting anxiously for Imelda to return home from the doctor. He'd spent all day worrying even though there were only two answers. He wasn't sure which he wanted honestly.

He ran hands through his hair "Calm down Hector, everything will be fine" he told himself aloud. He then jumped four feet in the air when the door opened. "I didn't mean to startle you" Imelda said as he whipped around. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead "It's alright mi diosa" he whispered.

"So, are-are you-" he struggled to get the last word out.

Imelda nodded "Yes" a smile cracked across her face "Yes mi amor!" she said and watched Hector's face begin to glow. He let out an excited cry, picking her up by the waist and spinning her around. "I'M GOING TO BE A PAPA!" he shouted, holding his wife up and kissing her jaw. She laughed , wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck "I love you so much" she said.

Hector laughed , unable to stop himself from smiling from ear to ear and nearly crying from the euphoria. Imelda ran a hand through his hair, some thing she had come to love doing "We're going to be parents Hector!" she was unable to hide her own excietment, rubbing up against him through his shirt. He nearly fell over, hoisting her a little higher and planting a kiss on her collarbone.

Imelda lifted his chin up, taking in the surreal feeling of being taller than him. His eyes sparkled, his charm and almost boy like innocence shining through in his excitment. He looked up at her like she was an Angel come down from heaven. It was the same look he'd given just before their first kiss, the first time he told her he loved her and on the day of their wedding when the lazo was placed around their necks by the priest. It was one that sent goosebumps through her skin yet warmed her inside. Her heart ache as she watched his eyes well up.

"Oh mi amor" she said , wiping away the stream from beneath his eye with her thumb. She caressed his face "I'm, I'm just so happy!" he said, still looking up at his wife with the same heart-melting look.

"I love you so much Imelda. So much. You mean everything to me. You let me into your life. You trusted me and gave me everything I could ever need or want . You sang and danced with me and held my hand when my abulita passed on. You brought me into your family when I had none to speak of. And now we're going to have our own!" Imelda could feel her own tears coming on as he spoke. She tried to contain herself but eventually just held onto him, allowing her feet to fall back to the floor and clinging to his shirt.

Hector stood in mild shock as he held her close, having never seen his wife cry like this before. He kissed the top of her head "Shh, it's alright" he whispered. Even though he knew the tears were not of sadness he felt an incessant need to comfort her. Hold her close enough so that she could hear the rhythm of his heartbeat and never let go. She stared up at him, unable to pull herself away "I love you too." she said and stood up on her toes to meet his lips.

That night Hector went out and played a show with Ernesto, tell him about the good new.

While congratulating Hector Ernesto noticed his expression change momentarily. He knew instantly what he was think "Hay" he said "You're not going to be like them Hector." he assured him, giving his friend a firm pat on the shoulder. The lump in his throat loosened and he tried to push the thought deeper into his mind.

It was late when Hector got back home so he tried to be a quiet as possible, setting his guitar case down asif it was a newborn. He found Imelda awake in their bedroom "Did I wake you?" he asked and she shook her head.

"no" she said. He sat on the bed and took his shoes off, hanging his mariachi jacket before collapsing back onto the mattress. Imelda crawled towards him and kissed his jawline. The musician smiled but stayed stiff, standing up to unbutton his shirt before grabbing one to change into. Imelda's face fell as she watched him.

"Hector?" she asked, clearly confused. He turned his head, Imelda able to catch a glimpse of the side of his face.

"I'm not really in the mood tonight." he said simply and turning back around.

"Hector? Is everything alright?" Imelda asked as she sat up. "Did something happen at the show? Did you get in a fight or something?"

Hector sighed "No I'm fine Imelda." He laid down on the bed and folded his arms under his head. "I'm just tired is all." he insisted.

She faced him "Why are you lying to me?" she said angrily. She was able to tell when something was bothering him and hated when he wouldn't tell her. This went poorly with his habit of bottling things up. "Now, tell me what's bothering you!" she demanded.

She watched his chest rise and fall slowly before he spoke "I thought about my papa." he admitted.

"Your papa? You've never mentioned him before." she said.

"Yeah, I guess I don't know that much about him." he admitted, a feeling of shame and guilt washing over him.

"Is he okay? Did something happen?" imelda was stunned. Hector had only mentioned his parents a handful of times. She assumed they had died.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him sense I was ten or eleven."

Imelda grabbed his hand as she felt him stiffen.

"I'm sorry I never told you about him." he said "it's just… painful to talk about."

"take as long as you need." she said and laid beside him.

Hector pulled her in and took a deep breath "I never knew my mother. She apparently took care of me for about a year before dropping me with my papa. I still don't know anything about her. From what I overheard him say she's not great but I really don't know. He wasn't the greatest either though." he swallowed hard "He would leave me alone in the house for days without food. And if there was a mess, or something broken when he came back I would have to sleep in the yard. It was awful." his eyes darted up to look at her before falling back "Then one day he left me at my abuelita's and I never saw him again."

By the time he stopped Imelda had a hand clapped over her mouth "Oh my god, Hector. Are you alright? How old were you?" the thought of a young, petrified Hector lying on the cold ground on a moonless night horrified her to the core. An empty stomach, frozen fingers and aching heart were too much for any child to bear. When imelda looked up she saw that child in his eyes, wandering around in the dark looking for food in the garbage. Such pain that she could never imagine.

"I'm fine Imelda, I was eight the last time I saw him." he said. His wife placed a hand on his face, lovingly brushing her thumb over his sharp cheekbone. "But, I promise that I will never be like them. They taught me what not to do." He placed a hand over hers and closed his eyes. Imelda's hand was so warm on his skin. She brought such warmth and safety to him. Such comfort it was as if she was the sun and he a tree, growing stronger through her light and her energy.

She placed her fingers on his chin, feeling the hairs of his goatee against her hand "I know you won't Hector. You've never done anything to show me that you would." and with that she gave him a passionate kiss .


End file.
